It’s been one hell of a weekend, week, month, year … Every day for me it’s something. Every. Single. Day. I’m tired. I frustrated. I’m angry. I won’t even lie about it, I’m seething. You can probably see the smoke coming out of my ears.
My anger consumes me. CONSUMES ME.
I’ve been trying really hard to hold it all together, but I’m coming apart at the seams. I’m really, REALLY angry. My head is swirling. Loud thoughts. I can’t do or be everything to everyone. I’m losing myself in the process and I can fall deep into the rabbit hole of depression that’s hard to dig myself out of. I’ve journaled about it. I’d talk about it, but it’s my mouth that always gets me in trouble.
It needed to come out. I needed it to be expressed. And this is the result of my what has consumed me.
When I am lost it is my journal and my canvas that will be my salvation. This is my form of anger management. I’ll keep my mouth shut because, like I said, it only gets me in trouble.
I’m doing my best to hold myself together. I’m hanging on by a thread, and praying it doesn’t unravel anymore than it already has.
My life is littered with evidence that I am able do hard things. I am living proof that I have survived adversity, that I am resilient, I am capable, I am strong. But I’m also a mere human and there’s a limit to what I am able to withstand. When that time comes, I will know, and I’ll simply let go …
The Soulful Artist 