The Soulful Artist

September Art Musing 9/04/2022:

My co-workers laugh at me because I’m forever asking them to save the cardboard backing from the EKG paper. There’s 2 in a pack and they just throw them away!

Initially I was using the cardboard to catch the “run off” or excess paint when I was painting. But one day I went to throw it away and saw how the once useless, ugly piece of cardboard had transformed into a beautiful piece of artwork on its own! I saw how all the colors came together to become something visually stunning, and how in the layering of paint it became something tactile that felt good to the touch. Immediately I knew that I couldn’t throw it away. I had given that crazy piece of cardboard backing life and purpose!

People are like this. We think at times that we’re just simple, blah, without purpose and we go about life quietly doing our thing. But given the chance, with time, and a little TLC, we can transform and evolve into something greater. Too many times we don’t see our worth, or the worth of others because we’re so busy and focused on other things. Take the time. Give the care. Help nurture others to show them that they matter and that they can become something great.

Many years ago – and I’m talking a lot of YEARS, I wasn’t a “new” nurse, but I was a young nurse still trying to find my way. I never dreamed of working in the ER. I was too afraid of that place. But when I floated down there to help, the Charge Nurse, Michael “MQ” saw me and my potential and convinced me that I could do it. He promised me that he would show me and teach me everything I needed to know to work in that daunting place. And he was right. He took me and molded me into the nurse that I am today. To me he is the GOAT! He was my mentor, became one of my best and greatest friends. Today is his birthday! To MQ, Happy Heavenly Birthday, Friend. I miss you and love you, and I thank you for showing me my possibility and potential.

It’s been a minute … a very LOOOOONNNNG minute … since I’ve had the capacity to get in my studio and create.

I couldn’t do it, you know? With working a little overtime, and being the main caregiver/caretaker of a sick family member, even though I had the time, I didn’t have the capacity to get in there and create. It was as if I physically could not do it after taking care of everyone all day. Even though creating is a part of my daily spiritual practice and a form of self care for me, I found myself wanting to just physically sleep. So I’ve been sleeping. Literally sleeping.

In a recent journal entry, which is a huge part of my daily spiritual practice and self care, I posed a question asking what was causing me to feel disconnected, what was I missing? And the answer that I received was … Creativity.

Creativity has always allowed me that connection with my Highest Best Self, My Soul, My Spirit, God, The Universe. I made time to get into my studio today to do just that … to find that dormant part it myself that I let sleep a little too long, and I created.

I allowed my little 8 year old self to come to the surface and to play. Playing with paint, creating to my heart’s content … I heard and felt her huge sigh of relief. I felt her shoulders drop. I felt her giddy excitement. I felt her deep gratitude.

It’s what I needed to find the capacity to keep doing what I do. It’s what I needed to allow the divine back in, to work through me and bring forth what it desires to bring forth.

The butterfly effect is a concept or an idea that the flapping of a butterfly’s wings can cause a tornado on the other side of the world. In layman’s terms, it’s trying to show how the slightest change – even one as minute as the flapping of a butterfly’s wings – can have large consequences.

It’s hard to fathom that a tiny butterfly flapping it’s wings could really cause a typhoon, but it’s trying to convey the message that little things can be the catalyst to bigger things. In life, it’s telling you that small changes, those seemingly little decisions, can be the catalyst to life altering change.

For me, when I reflect back on my life … I can see where some of the seemingly little, crazy, inconsequential decisions I’ve made have had HUGE impacts on my life! I didn’t realize it happening at the time, as it’s only in hindsight that I am able to truly see the magnitude.

5 years ago, when I decided to take a painting class from Erin Elizabeth … I remember being so intimidated by the canvas and the paint that I almost backed out of going. While I was there, painting, you can see that my painting was nothing except a blue blob. But that one painting class with Erin changed my life! It’s been almost 5 years and I haven’t looked back!

When you reflect back on your life, at the little decisions you’ve made, where can you see that it changed the trajectory of your life? Where can you spot the synchronicities? I’ll bet you would be able to name more than a few.