The Soulful Artist

Life. Art. Transcendence.

Day 21 Of 28 Days Of Love!

When I first started painting, it’s understandable that my work was clumsy, messy, childish. I was learning and still getting my footing. Had I judged myself too harshly and quit painting then, I would never have evolved as a painter.

Anything that has never been is waiting for you to birth it. I used to think a lot, have preconceived ideas about what my paintings should look like and when it didn’t turn out (which it usually never did) I’d get upset and wonder who I was trying to be, what was I trying to prove?!? Until I let go and let what wanted to come forth and be birthed, be birthed.

It’s just a canvas. If I didn’t like what was on there, I could just throw more paint on it, or cover it and start over. Once I let go, once I had no expectations and let go of the outcome, the painting would flow and emerge as it was meant to. Once I freed my mind, I could see that there was beauty in what I was creating.

My love shoutout for today goes to possibility! Why possibility? Because possibilities are endless! There are infinite possibilities as to how we can or will emerge. Where potential is limited, possibilities are limitless!

Don’t ever put limits on yourself, on what you can do, or who you can be. Don’t give up on yourself before you even start. Be forgiving when you’re learning something new. Give yourself credit for getting up and showing up!

I don’t know who I would be today if I trashed all my paintings and never picked up the paintbrush after many creations that appeared to be junk. Every time I showed up at my table with new canvases and paint and started over, I got better. I’m far from Monet, VanGogh, Picasso status, but my heart is happy and my soul is free!

Here’s to infinite possibilities! Here’s to being an infinite being!

Angel of Healing!

Day 20 of 28 Days Of Love!

I have an affinity and a love for angels. For me, they represent helpers that God sends because he can’t do everything alone. At least that’s what my grandma told me.

As I got older, angels represent a huge part of my spirituality and “team” that have assisted me and guided me throughout my life. My “team,” if you’re wondering, consists of angels, guides, my highest best self (HBS), my own spirit , soul, God, and the Universe. Every morning, without fail, I ask my team what it would like for me to know/do/be/see/say/meet, and I ask for it’s guidance with my intuition and knowing. My Team has never failed me.

I love my little creations of angels that I started making a few years ago. My vision of angels aren’t huge beings. To me, they are simple and uncomplicated. Ready to help when I ask at any time.

My love shoutout for today, goes out to my own team of Spiritual Beings that have helped me, guided me, protected me without fail all the years of my life!

Ocean Vibes.

Day 19 of 28 Days of Love!

It’s no secret that I have a deep love for the ocean. I was born on an island, the island of Oahu.

There is healing in water. They say that the cure for anything is healing is salt – tears, sweat, and the sea. But there is specific research that shows that living in coastal areas leads to an improved sense of physical health and wellbeing. The by or in the ocean has been proven to induce a meditative state that makes us happier, healthier, calmer, more creative, and more capable of connection.

I have an ultimate dream to live oceanside, or by water. I try to get to the beach frequently. It’s my favorite.

So … my love shoutout for today goes out to my love for the ocean. It’s probably why I am so drawn to use the blues and teals – the colors of the ocean. Its such a beautiful place. It’s an amazing place of healing.

Day 18 Of 28 Days Of Love!

When I was little, I knew two things: I would be a nurse, and I would have 3 sons (the girl was a bonus). So crazy, huh?

They say that you never forget your first love. This is true, especially when that love is your first born. When I birthed my first son, it was the most amazing feeling and the most beautiful experience. To know that I -ME- created, grew, and housed a human in MY body. Creating something and someone that has never been before. Whoa! (Sigh.)

My Samuel was my very first born. He was by all accounts my very first love. I was barely an adult when I had him and I learned a lot with him. I often feel guilt when I think of the past and how it played out. I didn’t feel like a good Mom, and some situations were not ideal, but I did my best, and I am NOT surprised that he is a good human or is as successful as he is.

Aside from his scholastic accolades, he’s an accomplished journalist, and an accomplished WSOP circuit poker player. He’s also a good partner to his girlfriend, Kathy, and a loving fur daddy to Scout and Ranger.

I love all my children the same, I’ve just loved Sam the longest. He’s been through some crazy shit with me and he’s seen me at my worst. I’m truly proud of him and the man he has/is become/becoming.

Creating a human is an amazing thing. Being a mother is not something to be taken lightly. It’s been the most incredible journey and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Day 17 of 28 Days Of Love!!!

Tenacious! Determined! Strong!
There are many words that I could use to describe today’s love shoutout, but IG only allows so many characters.

Today’s a special day as it’s my youngest child’s and only daughter’s birthday! 19! Time has flown by.

Ah, my Grace has been both a joy and a challenge. What child isn’t though? This child of mine has taught me so much about never giving up, belief in self, love of self and others. She’s an incredible human.

It has been an honor to be her Mom and watch her grow. Her dad and I are so proud of her.

Funny story, rather amazing story about her birthday gift. Grace has been talking about getting a French Bulldog for years now. She could tell you all about them. She has been talking about them, researching them. She has never wavered in her love for this animal. Over the last year, she has created a vision board with a French Bulldog, and over the last 6 months she has been telling everyone, “My French Bulldog named Calliope is coming!” Never wavering. She was sure. She was very specific in describing her coloring, etc. I wondered where the heck I would find this dog. My husband had been actively looking, but if you know anything about French Bulldogs, they are not cheap. My husband was even willing to travel to get one. Wouldn’t you know that my husband, as resourceful as he is, had everyone looking and after some time was able to locate and secure one. When he went to inspect it, he told me it was the exactly the same dog as was on her vision board! Same markings, etc! What?!! Grace’s manifesting power is on point!

On this day we want to honor our child. Also on this day, she became a mom – a dog mama. So, welcome to Calliope! We’re so happy to have you join our clan! Happy Birthday, Grace!!!

Day 16 of 28 Days of Love!

Go big! Do big things!

Today’s love shoutout goes to my Number 3. My Noah.

He’s out in the world, doing BIG things, doing HIS thing. I’m so proud of this one. All he’s wanted is to play ball. Baseball, that’s his dream. He’s in Missouri right now, playing for MBU in scholarship. He graduates this year so it will be fun to see where he heads off to next! (I’m hoping he takes my advice and plays international baseball. How cool would that be?!)

He’s the most quiet of all my children, the one filled with the most passion and angst. He’s an amazing soul and he always surprises me with his sense adventure, his vibrancy, his love, his passion.

Teach your children to not fear adventure or life. Teach your children to love hard and enjoy life. I taught my children to not be like me, but rather to be themselves!

Do your thing, Noah! I love you!

Day 15 of 28 Days Of Love.

Mental strength. Mindset. I love all that kind of stuff. I love learning all about it – what makes us as humans tick, how to keep going when facing challenges, why some are not able and others can withstand torture.

I’ve raised my children to be strong. To look adversity in the eye and forge forward. I was kind of a militant mom, but balanced. Think iron fist in a velvet glove. All of my children are different. I could’ve just written a post about all of them, but they all deserve their own shout out.

I’m starting with my number 2, my Nate, today because he’s headed into some really difficult and challenging training, but it’s exactly what he manifested for himself and what lights him up! I’m excited and worried – more excited though because I know what he’s capable of. I also know what he’s made of and he’s already proven himself.

So my love shoutout today, goes out to my Nathan! I am so very proud of him and all that he does! I am excited for him to tell me all about his adventures when I see him again!

To my Nathan, I salute you!

Day 14 of 28 Days of Love!

I cannot end day without acknowledging my own Valentine, @cnr9999.

I know that Valentine’s is a cheesy drug store ploy – one with red heart shaped cards and chocolate filled boxes. One where women swoon with expectations of professions of love. For me, I’ve always been shown that and MORE, and it’s like that every day!

I like the “cheesy” only because I like the sentiment and the shape of hearts. ♥️ I’m also a Libra so I’m a hopeful romantic underneath my rough exterior.

Enter my husband … our first date was 26 years ago at a restaurant that closed shortly after our date, eating strange food, and laughing about little old ladies who fell and caused me more charting. He told me that when he first laid eyes on me he knew I was “The One,” except he was just coming off anesthesia so he was drugged and couldn’t see clearly. Regardless, he asked me out several times until I finally relented. He turned out not to be a stalker, but instead a really nice guy. Proof: 26 years, and 3.5 children later … he has been my rock, my BFF, my number 1 fan, my love, my soft place to fall. He encourages me to be ME, and to go after my dreams and aspirations. He’s the best husband, human dad, and chicken daddy. He’s the second leader of our wild pack (I’m THE Leader LEADER). Thank you for everything you do for me to make my life/our lives better!

I love you, Big Daddy! Happy 26!

Day 13 of 28 Days of Love!

Fathers don’t get enough credit. I know because I took mine for granted. I always thought he’d be there, you know? And then one day … he wasn’t.

13 years ago, my Dad died very unexpectedly from a massive hemorrhagic stroke/bleed. It’s a weird position to be in to be a parent to your parents and to make the decision to make him a DNR, but to keep him alive until my brother from out of state could see him. It was amazing the way it all played out, as this norepinephrine drip ran out just as my brother arrived … and we were all able to be in the ICU as he passed. It’s not like that any more with the strict hospital visiting policy rules.

Even though he technically passed on Valentine’s Day, the day before is the real day my dad died.

My dad was the nicest guy. He deeply cared for his family. He was the only brother in a sea of 5 sisters and they loved him so! He sang off key, danced to the beat of his own drum, and told jokes that had a ruined punchline. He loved his garden so much that he gave fruits and vegetables away to everyone! He would also give you the shirt off his own back.

I wasn’t as close to my dad as many father/daughters are, but he loved me anyway, and did his best to support me always. He loved my children and was so proud of all of them!

My painting today is a combination of yellow which was my dad’s favorite color, and purple which is my favorite color. Yellow and purple are compliments to each other, which is how our relationship was.

My love shoutout for Day 13 goes out to my dad, one of the nicest, craziest little Filipino men you would ever meet. Here’s to you, Dad. I know you’re up there with Jesus, telling everyone jokes, making everyone laugh, and planting things in Heaven’s garden! I miss you and love you … Rest In Love.

Day 12 of 28 Days of Love!

Still playing catch-up! Bear with me!

The Angel Of Mercy has long been associated with Nurses for their caring, compassion, kindness, how they give hope to others, and help with healing amongst other things.

I’ve been a nurse since I was 21 years old … for more than half my life, and as much as I love Angels and the description of the Angel Of Mercy, I don’t really see myself as an “Angel.” I’m just me, being ME, you know?

Fun fact: I’ve known that I wanted to be a nurse since I was 8 years old. Here’s the kicker … My mother didn’t want me to be one. She told me, “I am not paying for you to go college so that you can learn how to wipe an ass!” I played her game by taking every class and elective that I needed along with my business classes so that when I was done, I could just go straight into nursing school. It was challenging but I did it. Not only do I have a B.S. In Business & Accounting, but I have a degree in Nursing also.

I love being a nurse! I’ve worked on various floors (Med/Surg,Tele, ICU), I’ve worked in a surgery center as a Pre-Op/PACU nurse. I’ve worked in a skilled nursing facility (SNF), and home health. In 1999 I was recruited by Michael Quitasol to come work in the ER. Even though I was hesitant, he promised me that he would teach me everything I needed to know. He didn’t disappoint. MQ, as you know from my Day 1 post, was my boss, mentor, and eventually became one of THE BEST friends I’ve ever had. He was instrumental in my nursing career.

To this day I still love nursing. As crazy and as challenging as it’s been over the last year with COVID19, I can honestly say I still wouldn’t do anything else. I love what I do. I love who I work with. I even like the people I’ve met and cared for. It’s been an amazing career in which I’ve seen much, done a lot, and have experienced so many things. I’m thankful for ALL of it. Every shit I’ve worked, every patient I’ve cared for, every co-worker who has walked the journey with me. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I know that I’m in the right profession because I love and enjoy it that much!

My love shoutout goes out to all the Nurses! I love what I do and I hope you do also!